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Why does Dr. pepper coke in a bottle?
because his wife diedCome
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A friend of mine is intersex and he just got pregnant.
his name is anthony, we met in a college improv class and we grew to be pretty close friends. i honestly didn’t know that he was intersex, or even gay for that matter, until i went to his apartment one night and he introduced me to his partner and told me they were having a baby! anthony was really excited to bare the baby and i watched his tummy grow for nine whole months until he sent me a text to come to the hospital— his water was breaking. i drove straight there and arrived just in time to see that anthony had bore a beautiful baby boy named dane. anthony bourdain.
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A Man swapped places with his wife to see what she did all day
A Man was constantly grumbling about how he had to work all day to provide for his family while his stayed home and did nothing.God offered him a chance to swap places with his wife for a couple of days to see what it’s like to be a woman, and he happily agreed.First day of the swap, he got up, made breakfast, sent the kids to school, did the tidying up and a whole bunch of things that are required for the proper functioning of household.By night, he was exhausted and couldn’t wait to get his life back.After he woke up the next morning, he begged God to spare him the pain and swap him back to which God replied that it wasn’t possible. “but why?” he askedGod: “Because you’re pregnant”
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What’s the difference between Trump and God?
God doesn’t think he’s Trump…
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Why did Jesus never have to close a door?
Because he was born in a barn
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My dad made mince pies this year and one of them looked very strange.
Mum: “Make sure you serve the ugly one last”.Dad: “I don’t know if I should, your Mother said she was getting very hungry.”
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Talking out loud.
I talk to my GF who was murdered, I sit by myself and talk to her about how I feel and the happy good times I had in her company. I have no idea why I do that, but tonight she answered. I was sitting alone in the dark listening to our favourite song. Dignity by Deacon blue. (She loved that song. I could never understand it) and she answered! Am I going mad? Is talking out loud to your dead loved one madness? Or is it I heard her voice? It was not in my mind I heard it! It was round me She said:”let go”. Why would I hear that? Of all the things she could say to me why “let go”? I don’t want to let go; I want her in my life. I want to see her face and see her blue eyes. She was my Galway girl. Am I going mad? Has my darkness finally taken over me? I want to hear her again it only lasted seconds. But 3 seconds I smiled .should I let go of her; or dose she mean let go of life, or my pain? What do I do?
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Trump has been Impeached.
Color me surprised.
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A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.”
A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents.“Thank you,” she said.“I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.”
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Why does Santa Claus have three gardens?
So he can Ho, Ho, Ho
Jokes
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