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A tourist takes a trip to a rain forest
In order to help guide him through the forest, he hires two local guides. About halfway through their trek they start to hear drums in the distance. The two guides look at each other with a concerned look. The tourist asks “Is something wrong?”. The first guide says “No sir, as long as drums play. We are safe”. The tourist, now slightly worried, asks “What happens if they stop?”. The guides look at each other again and continue walking.A few miles further on. The drums have gotten alot louder and faster, the two guides share another concerned look. The tourist asks again “Ok seriously, what’s wrong”. The first guide says “Nothing sir, as long as the…”The drums suddenly stop. The second guide screams and runs away in terror. The first guide shouts after him but it’s too late.The tourist, panicking now. Asks “What now?”The first guide looks at him, draws him in close and says “Now the drums have stopped. We must endure…the bass solo”
ucuz oto beğeni satın al
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How come you can’t work?
Because I have a vision problem, I just don’t see myself working.
türk beğeni satın al
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Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: “Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?”Don’t laugh, he won!
türk beğeni satın al
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Today I heard the one about the hungry clock
It went back four seconds
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Does anybody know the old names of the streets in Jamaica Queens?
I used to shop on 165th Street but always wanted to know the original name of it, for instance.
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In defense of the Car Mechanic in MP9 and MP10!
Ok, downvote me I don’t care. People say it removes strategy from the game? Wow… no. Because you have to adapt to what they do, you can use your dice to set them up. The captains events are fun, and in 10 the car is perfect for the Bowser mode
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How can you distinguish between a hospital and a military base?
Frankly I’m not sure – I’m just a drone pilot.
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The Americans in WWII discovered a weakness in the Nazis.
The Americans snuck into the Nazi bunkers, and all of a sudden, pulled out…Cleaning spray.They all pressed the release button, but when the haze cleared, the Nazis were seen running off, not a scratch on them.While on their way back to their bunkers, one of the American rookie’s asked the General why the plan didn’t work.The General said “It’s because they are German.””But General,” the rookie replied, “what does that have to do with anything?””Well son, Lysol only kills 99.9% of Germs.”
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I go to the gym religiously…
ya know twice a year when my family starts bugging me to go
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My girlfriend accused me of gaslighting her.
I told her she’s crazy, there’s no such thing as gaslighting.
Jokes
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