Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
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I have decided I wanted to be healthier so one of my new years resolutions is instead of snacking on processed and sugary foods I am just going to eat nuts instead.
The other is to come out to my parents.
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A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.
There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have.” Poof! The jewels appear.“For my second wish, I want karma. Lots of karma.” Poof! The karma appears.The genie stares at the teacher, waiting for the third wish. “I can give you anything in the world,” he says again.The teacher thinks for a long time. “As a teacher, I always hated careless mistakes from my students. I noticed that I accidentally wrote ‘lamb’ instead of ‘lamp.’ Please correct my mistake.”The genie moaned in anguish. “This is Reddit,” he shouted. Once you post it, you can’t edit the title.“In that case,” the teacher smiled, “It looks like I’ve got myself a genie for eternity.”
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Me when I look through old albums.
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Eating + Netflix
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cursed_punishment
see full image
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Cross eyed teacher
Have you heard about the cross eyed teacher? She couldn’t control her pupils…
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The first time
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.She fainted.”
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What’s that shiny object?
A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale.She asks the shop assistant, ‘What is that?’The assistant responds, ‘It’s a thermos.’The blonde then asks, ‘What does it do?”It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.’So the blonde buys one. The next day she brings the thermos to work with her.Her boss, also a blonde, asks, ‘What is the shiny object?”It’s a thermos.”What does it do?”It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.’
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My son was bullied so I told him to handle it like Michael Jackson.
“You just gotta look that asshole right in the eye.”
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Don’t let anyone else tell you what you think of TROS
I went down the YouTube rabbit hole and found people changing what I thought about TFA. I was seeing problems I didn’t see whenever I watched the actual movie.Every Star Wars movie has things you won’t like or that seem like a stretch.Don’t criticise nostalgia as “fan service”.Just watch the movie for what it is. If you don’t, that’s fine. But don’t go in to it with the idea it’s going to be bad.There are very few movies that are 100% without flaw. You can still watch these and enjoy them. It’s the same with Disney Star Wars.