Going 20 years sober on January 5th!by thefunDecember 31, 2019It will be 20 years since I last had a drink on the 5th of January. I drink on all of the other days. More One-LinersWhat did the vampire say after drinking the donkey’s blood?What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?Right enough of these “2020 vision” jokesI haven’t showered since last decade.Once I dated a girl with a parakeet and that f**king thing never shut upThe average person has sex 54 times a year…