Macho
– How many times a night does yours wake you up? – Three times. – Macho! – No, prostate.
Old Age Jokes
Old age jokes for anyone who is not as young as they used to be, and proud of it. From creaky knees and forgotten names to the wisdom that only comes with grey hair, these funny getting-old jokes celebrate every wrinkle. Age is just a number, and these jokes are timeless.
Seeing the doctor more often these days? Then you will enjoy our 64 medical jokes.
A Pretty Long Song
One minute I’m listening to Stairway to Heaven in 8th grade and the next day I’m enrolling in a Medicare program. Well, it’s a pretty long song.
Not a Damn Thing
So a Police Officer pulls over a little old lady in a car going a bit too slow…Police officer asks the usual, “…know why I… Read More »Not a Damn Thing
I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother.
I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. She’s an animal in bed.
After so many years..
A guy asks his girlfriend for a blowjob. She says “No, you won’t respect me enough to marry me and I love you.” After they’re… Read More »After so many years..
Took grandma to a Chinese restaurant yesterday.
Took grandma to a Chinese restaurant yesterday. She used her chopsticks to knit a sweater out of her noodles.
We’ll never know
My wife and I were walking in Rome. The was a lone old guy at the other side of the street. My wife said, “He… Read More »We’ll never know
won`t be able
A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw an elderly man walking past. She hasn’t had a customer in a while, so… Read More »won`t be able
Too high
An elderly man went in to see his doctor. The doctor asked “What brings you in today?” The elderly man responds “My sex life is… Read More »Too high
at least one of them
An old man was attending his wife’s funeral. The preacher walked up to him and said, “May she rest in peace.” The man replied, “I… Read More »at least one of them
Dog years
A thirty year old man goes to a psychiatrist… Psychiatrist: How long have you been married? Man: 42 years. Psychiatrist: How is that even possible?… Read More »Dog years
A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!!
A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!! Her husband asked ” what happened ? “” The doctor was stunned and he… Read More »A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!!
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am… Read More »So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady…
A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him…… Read More »A man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady…
Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.One evening, Mildred, age… Read More »Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m… Read More »The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed. His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened.
“God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye grandpa” The father asked “why did you say good bye grandpa?” The little girl… Read More »A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed. His daughter
wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father
listened.
Father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed
> > Father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed. His daughter wanted to say a… Read More »Father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed
Severe headache for years
> > Severe headache for years A MAN went to the doctors suffering from a severe headache for years on end. The doctor said, “Joe,… Read More »Severe headache for years
JOKESTER
I was showing my grandpa what YouTube was and he said that he couldn’t imagine what his childhood would’ve been like if he had that,… Read More »JOKESTER
The Southern Grandma
-Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his… Read More »The Southern Grandma
Why are you still guarding it?
A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 privates guarding a bench. He went over there and asked them… Read More »Why are you still guarding it?
I walked in on my grandma sucking my grandpa’s dick.
I have no idea why it wasn’t cremated with the rest of him!
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves.
The boy sees a worm trying to crawl into an anthill. “I bet fifty bucks that I can get that worm into that anthill!” says… Read More »A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves.
My grandma said that we people are too much reliant on technology.
I called her a hypocrite and unplugged her life support.
I want to die like my grandfather, sleeping calmly.
Not like the passengers on his bus, screaming intensely.
When I was a kid, I made a really big sandcastle with my grandma
Unfortunatley, I didn’t impress anyone at the cremation…
A married man arrives piss drunk to his home, he hardly makes it into his house after making a mess… in the morning he wakes up with a “breakfast for champions” in front of him, and he is like… what???…
A married man arrives piss drunk to his home, he hardly makes it into his house after making a mess… in the morning he wakes… Read More »A married man arrives piss drunk to his home, he hardly makes it into his house after making a mess… in the morning he wakes up with a “breakfast for champions” in front of him, and he is like… what???…
An old man is at home on his deathbed…
The doctors have given him only a couple of days to live and he no longer has even the strength to stand on his own.… Read More »An old man is at home on his deathbed…
In ancient times, an mighty warrior of the Germanic tribes cut a swathe through the Roman Legions.
His name was Dolf, but he was more commonly called by another name, whispered by mothers to their children as a warning – “The Red”,… Read More »In ancient times, an mighty warrior of the Germanic tribes cut a swathe through the Roman Legions.