Almost Won
A boxer comes home after a fight, completely beaten up. His wife asks: – Did you win? – Almost. I came second.
Sports Jokes
Sports jokes for fans, players and armchair coaches everywhere. Football, golf, the gym and the eternal agony of supporting a losing team all get their moment here. This collection of funny sports jokes is a guaranteed win, no overtime required. Game on.
Motivation
Wish me luck. I’m doing the London Marathon again this year. Last year I managed only 3 hours and 20 mins… before I got bored… Read More »Motivation
My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked….
My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked. “Hot and sweaty?” “No,” she replied. “Only a few members use it… Read More »My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked….
Cancel
This year, my New Years resolution is to finally go to the gym… … and cancel that membership I’m been wasting money on every month… Read More »Cancel
We have the same resolution!
I asked the hot girl in gym ” What’s your New Year Resolution?” She said “Fuck you!” I’m now eagerly waiting for the year to… Read More »We have the same resolution!
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
JOKESTER
Having a Playboy magazine to just read the articles is like watching the Superbowl just for the football ?
Sex After Death
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear… Read More »Sex After Death
I got my fired my first day as a coin flip referee in the NFL.
I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything.
This year, my New Years resolution is to finally go to the gym…
… and cancel that membership I’m been wasting money on every month since last year.
A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border
He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there,… Read More »A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage…
when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in… Read More »A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage…
Balls of Age
People who play basketball are 20. People who play baseball are 30. People who play golf are 60. Notice how when u grow older, your… Read More »Balls of Age
I go to the gym religiously…
ya know twice a year when my family starts bugging me to go
What weight training should I be doing?
I got into weight lifting a couple months ago and would like to become good. I’m also in need of gaining muscle because I plan… Read More »What weight training should I be doing?
A boxer walks into a gym…
It’s particularly crowded, and there are long lines of people waiting to use the equipment.First, he waits in the pull-up bar line, and does 25… Read More »A boxer walks into a gym…
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, “Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce.” As he finished… Read More »A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Why do golfers always bring two pairs of pants?
Just in case they get a hole in one
This guy in the gym just proposed and she said no
Well that didn’t work out
The first thing you have to learn before squatting at the gym…
… is to set up a bar in Iraq.
My racist Egyptian friend
“Egypt is not an African country” Ok cool man so lets talk about football (soccer) Which is the best African country in football? “Ah Egypt… Read More »My racist Egyptian friend
I ran a marathon for charity
It was for kids with asthma, i easily finsihed 1st.
Wanna know why in soccer they don’t use green cards?
Because all the Mexicans would be running to the field
A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked me if I fancied taking part in a marathon
I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.I thought, fuck me, I might… Read More »A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked me if I fancied taking part in a marathon
President Trump was impeached
And I won a gold medal for finishing second in the Olympics.(He’s not technically impeached until third step: senate trial, majority republican senate)
Baseball in heaven.
Two senior baseball fans John and Greg always wondered if the game of baseball existed in heaven.So they made a pact. “Whoever out of us… Read More »Baseball in heaven.
What’s osama bin laden favorite football team
The New York jets
So there’s these three guys coming out of the golf clubhouse on a Friday night.
The gentlemen see a lady shooting left-handed on the practice green nailing 20 foot putts like it was nothing, so the guys ask, “Hey do… Read More »So there’s these three guys coming out of the golf clubhouse on a Friday night.
Today I asked the hot girl at the gym what her New Year’s resolution was.
She said “Fuck You…”…So, I’m pretty excited about 2020.