no caffeine
Drinking coffee with no caffeine is like masturbating with a condom on.
Dirty Jokes
Dirty jokes for adults only: naughty one-liners, bedroom humor and cheeky stories that are funny, rude and definitely not safe for work.
applause
If you like to listen to music while having sex. Play a live album. That way you get an applause every 4 minutes.
Michelle
Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.
finally
I can’t be sure if my vegetarian neighbors are having sex or finally decided to eat bacon…
Saying “MY team won” after watching the game is like saying “I…
Saying “MY team won” after watching the game is like saying “I had sex with that woman” after a porno. YOU just sat on the… Read More »Saying “MY team won” after watching the game is like saying “I…
pills
My wife said “get some of those pills that help you get an erection”, should have seen her face when I tossed her the diet… Read More »pills
numbers
Husband: Honey, how many men have you slept with? Wife: 30…. Husband: I wish you’d have been a virgin when I married you. Wife: I… Read More »numbers
long time to finish
Having sex with a condom is a lot like eating Cheerios with chopsticks. I’m still going to enjoy it but its going to take me… Read More »long time to finish
huge…
Q. Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? A. Huge tits.
welcome to the jungle
I was getting ready to have sex with my girlfriend hazardous and she decided to put on some music I was confused on why the… Read More »welcome to the jungle