die hard
I hope when Bruce Willis dies it’s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read “Bruce Willis Died Hard”
Dirty Jokes
Dirty jokes for adults only: naughty one-liners, bedroom humor and cheeky stories that are funny, rude and definitely not safe for work.
Guy: Please don’t tell my girlfriend that we had sex.
Guy: Please don’t tell my girlfriend that we had sex. Girl: I won’t, my lips are sealed. Guy: LIAR!
I had the awkward moment the other day, where my dad decided to…
I had the awkward moment the other day, where my dad decided to come up to me, and said “Son, we need to talk.” Now when he said this, I thought, oh great, here comes the sex talk.
Read More »I had the awkward moment the other day, where my dad decided to…
survey
In a new survey, 60% of women admitted to using sex as a way of controlling their relationships. The other 40% were blatant liars…
fired
One day a man returns home to his wife telling her that he was fired from his job at a deli mart. His wife asked why and he said, “after all the years I have worked there, I have always wanted to stick my penis into the meat grinder, and today was the day I completely lost my patience and finaly stuck it in there.
Read More »fired
Great
You know the sex was great when your room looks like a scene from ghostbusters. Stuff thrown everywhere, and covered in slime.
viagra
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
like dog
WHAT IS IT BOY!!?? DID YOU SEE SOMETHING??? -Me talking to my penis when I get a random boner.
compare
Whenever somebody says that something is “better than sex”, I always think “better than sex with you maybe”.
present
Wife:”Don’t open that wardrobe! your birthday present is in there!” Me:*opening the door*”Too late…this is the stupidest present ever!” Me: “Why the fuck would I… Read More »present