no caffeine
Drinking coffee with no caffeine is like masturbating with a condom on.
Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar. You already know this is going to be good. Our bar jokes collection is packed with classic pub humor, bartender gags and drinking jokes that get funnier with every round. Grab a stool, order something strong, and scroll through the funniest bar jokes on the internet.
chances
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. …Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
no excuse
Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse
more beer
At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…
drunk forever
Kid:Daddy why did you and mommy divorce? Dad:Well your mother couldn’t keep me drunk forever…
always
I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.
movie
A drunk guy was with his girlfriend in a cinema and suddenly, he fell asleep.After a while, he woke up and started screaming ‘MY PENIS,MY… Read More »movie
drunk guy
North Korea is like that angry drunk guy at a party. everyone is trying to calm him down but he’s convinced he needs to fight… Read More »drunk guy
better phone
As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately… Read More »better phone
chance
My wife said “Tell me you love me”. I replied, “Give me a fucking chance, I’m only on my 8th beer”.