no caffeine
Drinking coffee with no caffeine is like masturbating with a condom on.
Bar Jokes
Bar jokes about bartenders, beer and drunk customers. The classic ‘a man walks into a bar’ jokes and many more.
chances
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. …Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
no excuse
Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse
more beer
At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…
drunk forever
Kid:Daddy why did you and mommy divorce? Dad:Well your mother couldn’t keep me drunk forever…
always
I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.
movie
A drunk guy was with his girlfriend in a cinema and suddenly, he fell asleep.After a while, he woke up and started screaming ‘MY PENIS,MY… Read More »movie
drunk guy
North Korea is like that angry drunk guy at a party. everyone is trying to calm him down but he’s convinced he needs to fight… Read More »drunk guy
better phone
As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately… Read More »better phone
chance
My wife said “Tell me you love me”. I replied, “Give me a fucking chance, I’m only on my 8th beer”.