-
You know why there is only one gender?
Cause it’s nerf or nothing
-
How do you know a drummer is at the door?
Three taps and he comes in late.
-
When I was younger I poisoned Santa’s milk and cookies as revenge for last year.
Waking up to my dad dead downstairs wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.
-
Seeing strange things above my bed as a kid
After months of reading creepy posts here and on similar subs I’ve thought back and recalled what feels like the closest thing to a paranormal experience I’ve ever had. When I was a little kid I often thought I saw strange things above my bed. The only one of these things I can accurately recall is this face of a man on the wall behind and above the end side of the my bed where my pillow was. I would look up there in the pitch blackness and see a face that moved a lot like the soul sphere from Doom, like just 3 frames of movement which looked like it was moving its facial muscles to make some expression I can’t remember. However its appearance was gray and looked like one of those masks you see in theaters to represent comedy and tragedy but possibility with hair and slightly more realistic proportions of the facial features. Its size I estimate to be the size of a baby’s head and it made no sounds.I told my parents about these strange things and I think I actually saw them over multiple nights I dunno really. It felt like I saw the head for a while looking up to it and because it scared me I think I would look away and then look back up again and it would still be there. I wished it would just end. My dad said these things must have been mirages and that’s when I first heard of that phenomenon and that you tend to see them in deserts. When I told mother about the man she asked me if I was frightened but I didn’t want her concerned so just said “No, he was making funny faces at me!”
-
Whoever started this “Reddit is giving away 250 coins for giving upvotes” has an iq of 176 cause it has been planned right down to the screenshots of a fake msg from Reddit……you smart mf
I applaud the effort cause you have changed reddits upvote quantity for this entire Christmas season
-
So yesterday someone replaced a fifth of my ducks.
Well, that sucks.
-
People say that if princess Diana had been wearing a seat belt she would still be with us today.
I say to those people. Have you tried snorting cocaine of a cock in the back of a limo wearing a seat belt? It’s fucking impossible.
-
What did Lady Macbeth say to her dog?
Out, damned Spot! Out, I say!
-
Justice is best served cold.
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
-
My wife just sent me this text: “Thespacebaronmykeyboardstoppedworking.canyoupleasegivemeanalternativewhenyougethometonight?”
Pretty excited… but does anyone know what “ternative” means?
Jokes
Skip to the main content