I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I…
I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler. He lost my case.
Lawyer Jokes
Lawyer jokes for anyone who has ever wanted to laugh at the legal profession. From billable hours to courtroom antics and the age-old question of what you call a hundred lawyers at the bottom of the sea, this collection objects to nothing. Case closed, verdict funny.
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m… Read More »The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
DIVORCE
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and… Read More »DIVORCE
The Southern Grandma
-Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his… Read More »The Southern Grandma
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.””What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if… Read More »A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to… Read More »Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
Life is unfair to English teacher released from jail after serving 5 years for sex with 16 year old boy who is in love with her
The judge has ruled that sentence cannot end with a proposition.
How many lawyers do you need to change a light bulb?
You need 2.One to change the light bulb and the other to defend the old one.
Old man
An 80 year old man gets a letter from the IRS saying to call their office as soon as possible. The old man picked up… Read More »Old man
joke of cuort room:;
funy joke i made.:judge in courtroom: ORDR! ORDER!man 1: cheese bueger plaesejudge: shut the up…man: NO!! i order 7up!!
T-Boned by a Police Officer who was placed at fault for the crash the city attorney denied my claim both medical and property what are my options now?
As I said above in October a police officer ran a red light tboning me and one other driver. No lights were seen or sirens… Read More »T-Boned by a Police Officer who was placed at fault for the crash the city attorney denied my claim both medical and property what are my options now?
The doctor told me I had only 2 years left to live.
So I killed him and the judge gave me 40.
A doctor and a lawyer love the same woman
Everyday the doctor would give her a rose and she would thank himThen the lawyer would give her an apple everyday and she would say… Read More »A doctor and a lawyer love the same woman
I heard a story once about an American train driver.
He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a… Read More »I heard a story once about an American train driver.
Not guilty
Judge: State your name. Me: Not guilty. Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You’re not guilty? *moonwalks out of the courtroom* *doesn’t… Read More »Not guilty
Correct
A woman has sued a hospital, stating that, after recent treatment, her husband had lost interest in sex. The doctors replied: ‘All we did was… Read More »Correct
anywhere
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: “Hi there, good lookin’. How’s… Read More »anywhere
nobody
I danced like nobody was watching and now I need a lawyer.
lawyer
*Me as a lawyer* “Guiltypersonsayswhat?” “what?” “Your honor, I rest my case.”
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few… Read More »A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
Pro tip: if you must speak in court, do not put air quotes…
Pro tip: if you must speak in court, do not put air quotes around “the law”. Judges hate that.
familiar
Is it just me or the words “Lawyer” and “Liar” sound a bit too familiar….??
License For Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him ‘Buddy’ or ‘Lassie’. I call mine ‘Sex’. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.… Read More »License For Sex
I was offered…
I’ve worked every day for the last 20 years, getting up at five in the morning, grafting until six at night, to struggle to pay… Read More »I was offered…