Car jokes and driving humor to get your engine running. From backseat drivers and parking fails to mechanics, traffic and the mystery of that warning light, these funny car jokes are built for anyone who loves the open road. Buckle up, the puns are coming in fast.
WHITE WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Read More »dates
me : *washing car* neighbor : your washing your car ? me : no I’m watering to see if it grows into a bus
My husband said last night, “Do you realise my mother is coming over for dinner in 5 minutes?” I replied, “Yes I know, I’m getting… Read More »ready
I had a bikini wax today, It wasn’t painful at all. Very pleasent and quite erotic actually…. watching four chicks in flimsy swimwear wash my… Read More »I had a bikini wax today, It wasn’t painful at all.
My boyfriend opened the car door for me last night. It would have been a sweet gesture had we not been going 70 mph.
A farmer and a pet rooster went everywhere together. One day they went to a movie and as the farmer got close to the ticket… Read More »eating my popcorn
I walked into a car showroom last night. I said to the salesman, “My wife would like to talk to you about the Volkswagen Golf… Read More »you do now
So, the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration. After handing them to him, he asks who the car belongs to. I… Read More »So, the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration.
I’m planning a trip to Ireland next month. I’m going to rent a car and tour the country. So I’ve been practicing driving on the… Read More »trip to Ireland
My next door neighbors Smart car’s battery died… I had to give him a jumpstart from my iPod.