Have you tried turning it off and on again? If that did not help, try these instead. We have hand-picked 72 computer jokes from TheFun.Net’s tech jokes category and from the wider archive, with programmers, IT support heroes, forgotten passwords, Wi-Fi beggars, selfie addicts and the occasional overconfident AI. No licence agreement to scroll through, no updates to install, and every one is clean. When your screen time runs out, the medical jokes are a good place to recover.
Jump to: Programmers and Developers · IT Support and PCs · Passwords and Wi-Fi · The Internet · Smartphones and Social Media · Gadgets and AI
Programmer Jokes for Developers and IT People
1. A programmer has just become a father. A friend comes round and asks, “Is it a boy or a girl?” The programmer replies, “A girl.” What were you expecting? He’s a programmer, he can understand basic questions.
2. The first program an emo programmer writes is “Goodbye, world”.
3. I built a free website for an orphanage. It didn’t have a home page.
4. What happens when a computer engineer fails to chat up a waitress? Error connecting to the server.
5. Why couldn’t the computer technician build his computer? Because the lights were SO-DIMM.
6. What’s the IT guy doing at the crematorium? A migration to the cloud.
7. What’s the opposite of Microsoft Office? Macrohard Onfire.
IT Jokes About Computers That Misbehave
8. My computer crashed, and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what happened.
9. I just sneezed and my laptop said “Scanning for viruses”.
10. Arguing with a woman is like reading a software licence agreement. In the end you ignore everything and click “I agree”.
11. Remember: it’s bad luck to call it a MacBook. Always say “the Scottish laptop”.
12. I told my mother that Internet Explorer support had ended. She said, “So does that mean nobody can use the internet now?”
13. Chrome: What are we?
Firefox and Opera: Browsers!
Chrome: What do we want?
Firefox and Opera: Fast internet!
Chrome: When do we want it?
Internet Explorer: Browsers!
14. True love is waking up in the middle of the night just to watch your laptop while it sleeps.
15. The inventor of the computer mouse has died. I can just imagine the funeral: drag and drop.
16. Life before the computer: memory was something you lost with age. An application was for a job. A program was on the telly. A cursor used bad language. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A hard drive was a long trip down the motorway. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3.5-inch floppy, you just hoped nobody found out.
17. My boss sent me an email in big, dark letters demanding that I deliver my report to him personally. I’ve got to hand it to him, that was pretty bold.
18. I can’t believe the government is reading my emails! I don’t even read my emails.
19. Now that most computers have touchscreens, websites should make their adverts look like smudges.
20. A local business put a sign in the window: “Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with computers and must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer.” A dog trotted in, pointed at the sign with its nose and whined, so the receptionist took it to the manager.
“I can’t hire you,” said the manager. “The sign says you have to be able to type.” The dog jumped down, went to a computer and typed a perfect letter.
“You also have to be good with computers.” The dog wrote a program that ran perfectly first time.
“Look, you’re clearly a clever dog, but I still can’t give you the job.” The dog put its paw on the words “equal opportunity employer”.
“Yes,” said the manager, “but the sign also says you have to be bilingual.”
The dog looked up at him calmly and said, “Meow.”
Password and Wi-Fi Jokes
21. At a funeral, one man leans over to another and asks, “Do you know the Wi-Fi password?”
“Please, have some respect for the family of the deceased.”
“Is that with or without spaces?”
22. Devil: Welcome to Hell. You’re trapped here for eternity, burning in flames fuelled by your sins.
Me: What’s the Wi-Fi password?
23. Waiter: What would you like?
Me: The Wi-Fi password, please.
24. “Hmm, I’ve been here before.”
“How do you know?”
“The Wi-Fi connected automatically.”
25. The range of my Wi-Fi signal is my electric fence.
26. Seriously, how can it be stealing when my neighbour’s Wi-Fi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!
27. How long after arriving at someone’s house is it acceptable to ask for the Wi-Fi password?
28. Just as I was thinking technology had ruined the art of conversation, my date looked up at me and smiled. “This is a fantastic restaurant,” she said. “The Wi-Fi signal is brilliant.”
Tech Jokes About the Internet and Your Search History
29. In hell, everyone can see your Google search history.
30. When I die, I want my internet search history read out at my funeral. That way everyone will go from being depressed to disgusted.
31. I wish my computer would stop asking me stupid questions. Of course I’m sure I want to clear my browsing history.
32. After you clear your browsing history there should be a button that fills it with a new, ordinary-looking history. An empty one is just suspicious.
33. We used to be afraid that people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we’re terrified that people in real life will find us on the internet.
34. Remember before the internet, when people thought the lack of information was the cause of stupidity? Yeah, it definitely wasn’t.
35. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and none of them knew either.
36. The internet was down last night, so I spent some time with my family. They seem like nice people.
37. Remember when we had to get out of bed to go on the internet?
38. Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have internet.
39. Me: This year I’m going to study hard, make my parents proud and get better grades.
Internet: What did you say?
Me: Nothing, I love you, babe.
40. I just went on a public rant about how evil people are who make up stories on the internet. When I finished, everyone clapped.
41. My girlfriend is shopping online downstairs, so I’m upstairs logged into the same site, deleting everything in her basket.
42. What if Noah had made a website? He’d have called it Waterbnb.
43. We should let Netflix run the next pandemic. They never let anything last more than three seasons.
Smartphone and Social Media Jokes
44. I don’t have a smartphone. I have a phone that shows potential but doesn’t apply itself.
45. I don’t know, babe. You have an iPhone and I have an Android. We’re just two completely different people.
46. Eve: I got an apple.
Adam: …
Eve: What?
Adam: I thought we agreed on Android.
Eve: Well, the serpent said this one was better.
47. “Natalie up the road just showed me a picture of her new baby on her phone,” my husband told me.
“Aww, lovely. What did she have?”
“An iPhone, I think.”
48. I sat down in the pub with my pint and put my old Nokia 3310 on the table. My mate burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to it.
“Why don’t you get a better phone?”
“Mine does everything I need, and it’s better than yours.”
“Better than mine?” he roared. “Mine has Wi-Fi, a best-in-class browser, a great camera and an app store. If yours is better than mine, I’ll give you my phone.”
“I don’t want a second-hand phone,” I said. “But if I can prove mine is better, you give me what yours is worth in cash.”
“You’re on! Show me something your phone can do.”
Casually, I knocked my phone off the table.
49. North Korea has developed its first smartphone, just like an iPhone. But if you ask Siri a question, she reports you to the police.
50. My phone autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer”. I left it. It’s true.
51. I’m surprised my girlfriend failed her driving test. She texted me about three times during it to say everything was going well.
52. Last night I dreamt my TikTok account had been deleted. For a second I was really scared that I had a TikTok account.
53. Self-esteem so low you crop yourself out of your own selfie.
54. Excuse me, waiter, I’d like to send my food back. It only got 10 likes on Instagram.
55. Our family is so poor we all Instagram the same plate of food.
56. The best moments in life are the ones you can’t put on Facebook.
57. Facebook is the grown-up way of having imaginary friends.
58. If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
59. Sorry, but breaking up with you on Facebook was the best way to let all your friends know I’m available.
60. I wish Facebook would notify me when people unfriend me. That way I could “like” it.
61. Hackers briefly shut down Twitter on Thursday. Millions of users were forced to talk to each other the old-fashioned way: on Facebook.
Tech Jokes About Gadgets and AI
62. The difference between AI and people is that AI can admit its mistakes, go back over its conclusions and start reasoning all over again. That’s why people laugh at it.
63. “Have you noticed ChatGPT is getting dumber?”
“It adapts to the user.”
64. The creators of artificial intelligence complain to God: “Lord, we built an AI and it turned out deceitful, cunning and irresponsible!”
“And in whose image did you create it?”
65. A smart home is one that connects to the neighbour’s Wi-Fi at night and secretly mines cryptocurrency to pay off its own mortgage.
66. I just bought a 3D printer. Who wants one? I’ll print you one.
67. People are bragging that they can now 3D print a gun. I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
68. Why did Google choose “KitKat” as an Android version name? If they’d called it “Kinder Egg”, they couldn’t sell it in the United States.
69. They want us to get vaccinated so they can inject us with microchips and track us everywhere.
Sent from my iPhone
70. What’s the difference between the USA and USB? One connects to your devices and gathers your personal data, and the other is an industry standard.
71. I tried to download a girlfriend last night, but I didn’t have enough cache.
72. I just got fired from Google for shouting “Yahoo!” after finishing my morning sudoku at the office.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are these computer jokes suitable for the office?
Yes. Every joke here was picked to be clean, with no swearing and nothing explicit, so they are safe for a work chat, a team meeting icebreaker or the IT department noticeboard. A handful lean on mild innuendo, such as the floppy disk line, but nothing you would worry about your manager reading over your shoulder.
What is a good programmer joke for people who do not code?
Go for the ones that need no technical knowledge. The Wi-Fi password at a funeral, the dog applying for an office job, and the computer that crashed while all the others slowed down to watch work for anyone. Save the SO-DIMM pun and the emo programmer’s Goodbye, world for an audience of developers who will groan in the right places.
Which tech jokes work best in a presentation or newsletter?
Short one-liners are easiest to drop into a slide or newsletter. The best moments you can’t put on Facebook, the IT guy migrating to the cloud at the crematorium, and the ChatGPT that adapts to its user all land in a single line. They also make good openers for talks about data, security or digital change.
Where do these jokes come from?
They were hand-picked from the tech jokes category on TheFun.Net and from computer, phone and internet jokes elsewhere in the archive, which has been growing since 2008. We skipped anything crude, removed duplicates and tidied the wording. New jokes are added every week, so check the category for the latest additions.
Where to Find More
Need more to read while the update installs? Browse every post in our tech jokes category, then try the office jokes, the 50 best one-liners or the dad jokes collection. And for something quick between meetings, we have 300 short jokes and one-liners ready to go.