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distraction

Cell phones are a distraction while driving. Says cops with radios, dash cams, laptops, cell phones, radars and donuts.

BBC news

“Welshman saves sheep by giving it the kiss of life” ….Thats the exact same thing I would have said to someone if I got caught… Read More »BBC news

guess

They call me Mr. Rhetorical. Can you guess why?

page six

I couldn’t buy perfume this week so I rubbed a magazine on my shirt. When people ask ” What’s that heavenly smell?” I say “Page… Read More »page six

I always knew

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I always knew you’d hurt me. I knew you’d break my heart and just walk away. Who the fuck steals someone’s beer!?

I learned something

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There’s one thing I’ve learnt working at Mcdonalds. I should have fucking tried harder at school.

explanation

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wife:”could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my arse? ” husband:”could you explain to me, why you… Read More »explanation

Never lie to a smart woman!

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Never Lie to a smart woman…
A man called home to his wife & said, “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in Canada with my boss & friends… We’ll be gone for a week.. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion i’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week,set out my rod & fishing box . We’re leaving from office & I will swing by the house to pick my things .. Oh and Please pack my new blue silk pajamas..” The wife thinks about this, being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.. Read More »Never lie to a smart woman!