I went to a pet store today and put a large “CHAMELEON” sign in…
I went to a pet store today and put a large “CHAMELEON” sign in front of an empty cage. Stand back and watch the fun.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
Me – “We’re having a baby!” Friend – “Aww, is it a girl or a…
Me – “We’re having a baby!” Friend – “Aww, is it a girl or a boy?” Me – “Yes, what else could it be..?”
I remember when I first started dating my wife, I got a hard-on…
I remember when I first started dating my wife, I got a hard-on just watching her eating a banana. Now after ten years of marriage,… Read More »I remember when I first started dating my wife, I got a hard-on…
2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop…
2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop… One lady whispers ‘I’m getting a boob job’ 2nd lady: ‘That’s nothing, I’m getting my… Read More »2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop…
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the…
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
My wife said that I have no discretion…
My wife said that I have no discretion… What do you guys think?
“How to break up with your girlfriend” A two-step process: Step…
“How to break up with your girlfriend” A two-step process: Step 1: take off your glasses Step 2: say: ‘I’m afraid I can’t see you… Read More »“How to break up with your girlfriend” A two-step process: Step…
This morning I went to a meeting for my ‘premature ejaculator…
This morning I went to a meeting for my ‘premature ejaculator support group.’u Trns out, it was tomorrow.
Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time…
Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time in ages. The Waiter said, I am sorry but we are so busy… Read More »Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time…
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch…
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a bottle of your best wine,” he ordered.… Read More »After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch…
I don’t know what “procrastinate” means.
I don’t know what “procrastinate” means. I think I’ll look it up later.
What’s the perfect date?
What’s the perfect date? DD-MM-YYYY is the most logical to me
My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.
My life was ruined by my obsession with video games. Fortunately, I had another two lives.
Just watched an interesting documentary on cocaine…
Just watched an interesting documentary on cocaine… Going to watch all documentaries this way now!
I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today.
I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today. The parents called the manager.
I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it’s because she is cute with…
I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it’s because she is cute with big brown eyes. But in reality, I just hope someone shoots her… Read More »I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it’s because she is cute with…
I got fired from work today I don’t know why, I didn’t even do…
I got fired from work today I don’t know why, I didn’t even do anything.
A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!!
A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!! Her husband asked ” what happened ? “” The doctor was stunned and he… Read More »A woman came out of her annual health checkup totally beaming!!
Professor: April, you are failing my class.
Professor: April, you are failing my class. April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I’m sure we can fix this. I’ll do annnything… Read More »Professor: April, you are failing my class.
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building…
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building course…It’s a boy and he weighs 11lbs 4oz
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy…
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!
My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome…
My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome with.Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to pick two of them.
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusion I said “it’s…
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusionI said “it’s not what it looks like”
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe. I don’t care how big the spider is, no one steals my… Read More »I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am… Read More »So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad. Until mom found out and hid the urn.
I went for a tattoo.
I told the tattooist that I wanted a tattoo of an Indian on my back. Half way through I said “put a tomahawk in his… Read More »I went for a tattoo.
I hate double standards.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them…
Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them how many sexual partners they’ve had? Because it’s well known that counting sheep helps… Read More »Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them…
Doctor: If you want to lose some weight, quit eating fatty.
Doctor: If you want to lose some weight, quit eating fatty.Me: Like fatty foods? chips and dip?Doctor: NO, quit eating Fatty!!!