One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

unrealistic

Porn is so unrealistic. I’ve been watching for 20 minutes now and no one has checked their phone.

Saw a boat with a sign that read, “For Sale”, so I added the missing “-ing”……..Idiots.

I might be going to hell, but my at least my coffee will never get cold.

Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn’t even listening to you.

I Gave your girlfriend an oral mammogram.

Yawning is your bodies way of saying 20% battery remaining.

I will never forget my teachers.. but I will keep on trying.

I was going to go to the gym but I got exhausted trying to parallel parking.

No, I don’t want to come to your cat’s birthday party…you freak. My dog’s getting married that weekend.

“Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” -How ballet was invented.