Why do golfers always bring two pairs of pants?
Just in case they get a hole in one
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
Today I took a taxi. The passenger before me had left his wallet behind on the backseat
Inside was a picture of my wife and kids.
When I was younger, I lost my virginity to a prostitute and only lasted 3 secs..
I think it was the whoremoans that set me off.
You like to play music?
You can practice on my skin flute
Why does Santa carry a big sack of gifts?
That’s just how he presents himself.
Why are pigs so smooth?
They use oinkment!
I got a sweater for my birthday.
I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
I hate people who take drugs
like policemen and customs officers.
Yes I get all the cool numbers- 420 is a weed thing, 69 is a sex thing…
and 9:45 is bedtime.