One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

so poor

Growing up my family was so poor that on my 12th birthday they put half a cake with six candles up against a mirror.

According to the latest survey, when making love, most married men, fantasize that their wives arent fantasizing!

I don’t have the blood alcohol content to deal with you right now.

Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.

The first cooking instruction on food packaging should be “Don’t throw out box until after reading all instructions.”

Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 cans of beer a day seems necessary.

Drawing is the second best thing in the world which requires your Hand & Imagination simultaneously.

Every time I go into my bosses office she tells me “take a seat.” I have 14 now

Of course I’m a medical professional, and what do you mean your previous gynecologist never performed a “taste test” ?

I’m drunk so much tequila last night I woke up speaking Spanish this morning