One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

doesn’t work

I don’t understand some politicians… “Government doesn’t work. Elect us and we will prove it. “

I have got to stop living every day like it could be my last. The hangovers are killing me…

Alcohol isn’t the answer. It just makes you forget the question.

Whoever snuck the s in fast food is a clever bastards.

My android autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer” . i left it. it’s true.

Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I’m available.

“Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.” – anonymous

They say laughter is the best medicine, and based on how many people laugh at me, I’m gonna live forever.

Never judge a man until you’ve had sex with his wife.

My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what’s happening.