One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

probably

If one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

When I undress in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for an MRI to find out if I’m claustrophobic.

Fuck a woman and she’ll love you…love a woman and she’ll fuck you!

I’m absolutely disgusted! Easter is almost over and I can’t find any christmas cards on sale yet.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two drinks.

When going out to a new place, what wifi stands for, Wifi: “Wish I Find Internet”

Tennis players don’t marry because Love means Nothing to them.

I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex, instead of police officers.

I’m not left handed, I just like to play life on Hardcore.