One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

Legal

marijuana is only legal if you’re sick. so it’s ill-legal

After watching my son play Grand Theft Auto V, he certainly won’t be driving my car anytime soon.

Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it’s best to just kill yourself.

My girlfriend complains all the time that she doesnt trust me, i dont know why, i mean my wife trusts me.

Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking… Read More »Question

Oktoberfest brings out the wurst in people.

I’ll call it a “smart” phone the day I yell “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your jacket!”

It’s hard to explain jokes to kleptomaniacs, because they always take everything literally.

the best relationship advice i can give you is make sure you’re the crazy one…

You`re so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn`t come back to you.