One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

Don’t hate me because I’m handsome, stick around, I’ll give you…

Don’t hate me because I’m handsome, stick around, I’ll give you plenty of other legitimate reasons.

You know you’re getting old when you’re watching porn and you think to yourself “That bed looks really comfortable…”

I thiink that anal sex should be reserved for marriage only because marriage is a prison.

Probiotics are good for you, but they’re still not sure about the benefits of amateur biotics.

The phrase “until death do us part” was invented when the average lifespan was 35 years.

Opinions are like orgasms. Mine is the most important and I really couldn’t care less about yours.

You haven’t seen a woman overreact until you tell her she is overreacting

I had a dream I was swimming in chocolate, but when I woke up ……nevermind

It turns out that a monkey cannot in fact do my job, long story short, he got us both fired.

When I was a kid, a selfie was something you did with a bottle of lotion.