What’s the difference between American beer and making love in a canoe?
None. Both are fucking close to water.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
How does Pink order takeout?
I’m comin’ up so you better get this pad-thai started.
I love camping for one reason…
Because it’s in tents
Why did Watson go to Los Angeles for his next case?
Because he was told that’s where he can find Holmes.
My kids asked, what was it like living in 60’s
So I took their phones and hid the modem
What’s the great thing about Ohio women?
They’re high in the middle and round on both ends.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter, he won’t come to you anyway.
Some girl has stolen my phone and clicked naked selfies.My cloud is full of them now. Somebody help me find her
I need to give her a charger too.
Why did Nivea Cream?
…because Max Factor
My wife got hurt bumping into the sofa…
I called her an ouch potato.