What’s one thing Trump and Jesus have in common?
They both hung out with prostitutes
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
Whats the difference between you and a sick Mallard?
One’s a sick duck, the other’s a dick suck
Knock knock
The Potter Household. Who is there? You know! You know who? Thats right. avada kedavra
Sphinx: What has four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night?
Me: A radioactive vietnamese soldier.EDIT: Sphinx: No no he’s got a point.
Why do horse-girls like horses so much?
Because it’s the only stable relationship they’ll ever have!
I asked my wife if i was the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”.
I went to watch the new Jumanji movie today.
That was some next level stuff.
What did Hillary say today while sipping her tea?
Mmmm. Peach mint.
Hey is your dad in prison?
Cause if I was your dad I’d sure be in prison
The “ladies and gentlemen, we got em” meme is one of the best of the decade
Change my state of mind