A man walks into a store. The cashier sayes “Sir you will need to put a mask on”. The man replies”Ouh shoot almost forgot, thanks”. The man puts on the mask and pulls out a gun, and yells out “ALRIGHT EVERYONE HAND OVER YOUR WALLETS!”
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I married a nymphomaniac. Now after 5 years of marriage, the nympho is gone. And I’m left with the maniac.
What do you call a person who say they don’t masturbate? A liar
Take good care of your ass It’s your only body part that gives a shit.
As I get older I think about all the people I’ve lost along the way Maybe being a tour guide wasn’t for me
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”.
I don’t know why my fishing buddy is afraid of coronavirus…he never catches anything.
God will protect me from COVID
When asked to wear a mask, a staunch conservative woman refuses and says “God will protect me from COVID”. When asked to practice social distancing she refuses and says “God will protect me from COVID”. When asked to get vaccinated, she refuses and says “God will protect me from COVID”. Upon contracting COVID and dying,…
Driving down the road today. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying: “I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realized how many gynaecologists are on the roads.
I like my women like I like my coffee I’ve never had one, but they smell really nice