Two men are robbing a liquor store… One says, ‘Is this whisky?’ ‘Yes’, the other replies, ‘but not as whisky was wobbing a bank’
My doctor told me I have to give up half my sex life. I asked which half, thinking about it or talking about it?
Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn’t go very well. Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.
I took viagra when I got to the office today. I’m working hard now.
I opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time- I was shocked!!
I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip,…
Mom: What did you do at school today? Me: We did a guessing game Mom: But I thought you had a math exam. Me: That’s right!
What do sex and the U.S. Military have in common? When you pull out at the wrong time you end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money
Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don’t notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
Wife was massaging her husband’s head. Wife : you always ask for a head massage. Wonder who gave it to you before marriage. Husband : well no one did , I didn’t need one since there was no headache!