If you ever feel lonely, buy stocks. You will have company
What’s the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your devices and gathers your personal data, and the other is an industry standard.
OMG guys, you won’t believe this but James Bond just came into the bar I work at and ordered a drink I’m literally shaking right now
Police arrested a time traveller from 2018. He still can’t believe that he was arrested for not wearing a mask in a bank.
I needed a password eight characters long. I went with SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves
So much nudity online these days . . . . . . sometimes I just sit in front of my laptop shaking my fist.
My therapist says I have a problem trusting people. Or at least she claims she’s my therapist.
Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I’d like to hear today’s special. I said yeah He said, today is special. I said, I can appreciate a good dad joke, but can you tell me about the menu please. The waiter slams his notebook down on the…
A wise man once told me to never give up on my dreams. That is why I keep sleeping.
I got a world map for my wall, I’m going to put pins in all the places I’ve traveled to … … but first, I have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.