What if aliens designed their spaceships to look like airplanes?
Category: Uncategorized
Welcome to Russia
NSA
My daughter asked me why I haven’t been reading my texts….. I figured if they were important, the NSA would tell me!!
more beer
At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…
Monday
It’s Sunday today, and if you are listening really carefully, you can hear how Monday is sharpening it’s claws.
someday I will…
I propose we add a day to the week and call it “someday”. Just imagine all the stuff that would get done on that day.
name
James: My name is Bond. James bond. Dumbledore: My name is Dumbledore. Brian dumbledore. Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
I always knew
I always knew you’d hurt me. I knew you’d break my heart and just walk away. Who the fuck steals someone’s beer!?
I learned something
There’s one thing I’ve learnt working at Mcdonalds. I should have fucking tried harder at school.
explanation
wife:”could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my arse? ” husband:”could you explain to me, why you didn’t wake up when I put it there? “