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camouflage

What if aliens designed their spaceships to look like airplanes?

NSA

My daughter asked me why I haven’t been reading my texts….. I figured if they were important, the NSA would tell me!!

more beer

At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…

Monday

It’s Sunday today, and if you are listening really carefully, you can hear how Monday is sharpening it’s claws.

someday I will…

I propose we add a day to the week and call it “someday”. Just imagine all the stuff that would get done on that day.

name

James: My name is Bond. James bond. Dumbledore: My name is Dumbledore. Brian dumbledore. Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian… Read More »name

I always knew

I always knew you’d hurt me. I knew you’d break my heart and just walk away. Who the fuck steals someone’s beer!?

I learned something

There’s one thing I’ve learnt working at Mcdonalds. I should have fucking tried harder at school.