If I was a black girl, I’d go to a tanning salon just so I could burst out the front door looking at my arms and screaming “WHAT THE FUCK!
Category: Uncategorized
solver
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem Solver.
hug
To those who say love is more important than money… Have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
hell
In hell, everyone can see your Google search history.
almost cooking
The recipe might be easy, but a reservation is easier.
to do
The Pink Panther’s To Do list: – To do – To do – To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo
not miracle
“MOM I HAVE GOOD NEWS! “What? Did you get an A on your math exam?” “I said I have good news, not a miracle.”
exotic stare
Vacations are a great way to spend thousands of dollars to stare at your phone in exotic locations.
ACTUAL ORIGINAL JOKE:
A kid and his father were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, the 6 year old son turns to address his father on his left and exclaims, “Daddy, that man’s wiener is a lot bigger than yours!” The whole bathroom…
prefer
Actually officer, I prefer to think scotch smells like me.