I once dated a girl with a lazy eye
Turned out she was seeing someone else on the side.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
Why can’t a vegetarian sushi roll be a musician?
It doesn’t have a tuna
My son turned in his art assignment and his teacher said, “Bobby, this page has nothing on it?”
He replied, “Yes it does, I drew a blank.”
Don’t you hate it when you take a dump and realize you didn’t wipe too good?
Such a shitty feeling
Why don’t blind people skydive?
It scares the hell out of the dog.
Star Wars and Giant Space Lasers
Still a better love Story than twilight
Why didn’t Dwayne Johnson’s downstairs neighbour recognise him?
Because he’s been living under a rock
What do rhinoceroses have that no other animal does?
Baby rhinoceroses.
I drew a large picture of a small skinned fish.
It’s not a scale drawing.
I eat pussy like I smoke cigarettes.
All the way to the butt.