Finger
Me: “Hey babe, I’m at the hospital, I cut off my finger.” Wife: “Oh no, the whole finger?” Me:”No, no…the one next to it.”
Marriage Jokes
Marriage jokes about husbands, wives, weddings and anniversaries. Funny truths about married life that every couple will recognize.
Women are quick to leave a man who lives with his mom but will…
Women are quick to leave a man who lives with his mom but will mess with a man who lives with his wife.
My wife stopped the car today and asked a guy for some…
My wife stopped the car today and asked a guy for some directions. “What’s the quickest way to get to the town centre?” she asked.… Read More »My wife stopped the car today and asked a guy for some…
Negotiate
The kidnapper rang and said to me, “€10,000 and you get your wife back.” “Negotiate with him!” advised the policeman. “€20,000 and she’s all yours.”… Read More »Negotiate
My cross
A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be… Read More »My cross
Just to hold
My wife came in starving today so I made her a great big sandwich. “Don’t eat it just yet, just hold the plate” I said. Five… Read More »Just to hold
Seenus
Three men were sitting on a bench in heaven discussing how they died. The first man said “I died of cancer.” The second man said,… Read More »Seenus
Step by step
I said to my wife “I think we are ready for the next stage of our relationship.” she giggled and said “what are you on… Read More »Step by step
Wrong number
“I love you,” I slurred as I phoned my wife from the pub.
“I love you too,” came the reply.Read More »Wrong number
Difference
Husband’s in movies: “I know my dead wife would want me to move on & be happy.” My Husband: “I know my dead wife would… Read More »Difference