My wife just sent me this text: “Thespacebaronmykeyboardstoppedworking.canyoupleasegivemeanalternativewhenyougethometonight?”
Pretty excited… but does anyone know what “ternative” means?
Marriage Jokes
Marriage jokes about husbands, wives, weddings and anniversaries. Funny truths about married life that every couple will recognize.
My wife claims that I have zero empathy.
I don’t understand why she feels that way.
Wife: I’m pregnant
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m DadWife: No you’re not
My cousin has dark hair. His wife is blonde. All four of their kids have light colored hair.
Genetically speaking, there’s a 15 in 16 chance that she’s cheating.
I don’t know why they have to Italian, but … (longish)
A young Italian bride is to spend her wedding night at her mother’s house. The bride and groom retire to the bedroom, where the groom… Read More »I don’t know why they have to Italian, but … (longish)
Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends.
Because he’s married.
A 9-1-1 operator in the deep South picks up the phone
“9-1-1, what is your emergency?””Oh my God, it’s my wife – she done been gored by a hog, she’s bleedin’ some real bad! Send help!””Calm… Read More »A 9-1-1 operator in the deep South picks up the phone
Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.
Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?!Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too….and she’s the best cook &… Read More »Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.
What’s the similarity bettween a wife and a handgrenate?
If you pull the ring off them,they take half the house
My wife asked me today if I was still talking my fiber supplements.
I said I wasn’t being very regular about it.