in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment
Category: Fun jokes
love handles
My blonde friend said she’s getting some new piercings. I asked where. “My love handles,” she replied. “But what if you lose them?” I asked. “You silly,” she replied, “how am I gonna lose my EARS?”
nerves
I started my new job as a bingo caller last night and halfway through calling the numbers I farted loudly.My boss immediately came over and whispered in my ear, “Don’t do that again”… “Sorry,” I said, “It must be the nerves”…. “Fair enough,” he said, “But there was no need to hold the microphone to…
french embassy
An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak. After a long search he just couldn’t find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up. “Look here, what are you doing?” the officer asked.
dates
WHITE WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position. IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have…
compliment
I love what you have done with your hair, how do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
wonderful man
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
from dirty joker
–MY APOLOGIES TO E.A POE– Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious website of “Hot Chicks Galore”, while I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. “Tis not possible,” I muttered,…
yard sale
A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood. Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of…
math
What’s on the board: 2•54/57(7+5/8)²•ab-c³ What teacher sees: 2+2=4 What you see: すきうせちし What you remember: