Going to war over religion is basically killing one another to see who’s got the better imaginary friend…
Category: Fun jokes
news
Very soon women will pay men to suck their breasts.. BBC Homepage Top News Story – Doctors recommend that women reduce the risk of breast cancer, by having their breasts sucked. It is said that regular sucking of the breast lowers the risk level. Help save a life today, Suck some boobs today! Send this…
pride
I was sitting in a room with my Aunts, uncles and cousins I looked over at my grandmother who had the biggest smile on her face, I asked her why her face was like that, she replied “Everyone in this room is alive because of my vagina”
ready
My husband said last night, “Do you realise my mother is coming over for dinner in 5 minutes?” I replied, “Yes I know, I’m getting ready now” “That sounds like her car pulling up outside” “No, that’s my taxi, see you later”
dinner at the restaurant
Me and my wife were having a romantic meal in a restaurant, when I said, “Close your eyes babe and don’t peek until I say so” A minute later, I said,”Ok, you can open them now” “What is it then? You’ve got me all excited” She replied …”Just the dessert trolley babe” I said,”but don’t…
hold
Brain: “Ok body, lets go to sleep”. Penis: “Hold the fuck up, I gotta get up and stretch for a second”.
different
I don’t know babe, you have an iPhone and I have an Android. We’re just two completely different people.
better place
Men, never go to a bar to pick up women. Just hang out in the shower head section at Home Depot.
drop
I’ve just dropped my wife off at her mom’s, on my way to the bar. Man I fucking love this helicopter.
before
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long…