If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.
Category: Fun jokes
no matter
What I’ve learned from movies: No matter how fast you run, a psychopath can catch up to you by slowly walking.
already
When I tell my barber to “take a little off the top”, he tells me god already beat him to it.
ghosts
A professor at Auburn University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. Getting a feel for his students, he asks “How many of you believe in ghosts?” About 80 of his students raise their hands. “That’s a good start I suppose. Those of you who believe in ghosts, how many have actually seen a ghost?”…
bacon
I looked at my girlfriend ,who was sitting next to me, and I thought to myself, “My God, what a beauty! What a woman! True love has finally come my way after years of searching! Finally I’ve found joy and happiness! I can finally settle down and start a family with my soulmate!” I swear,…
no problem
My boss asked me to work through my lunch break today. I shouted, “You fucking Asshole! I come in at 7.30 and don’t get thanks for it, work till 6 at night and don’t get thanks for it, while lazy bastards like you leave at 2 just to play golf all fucking afternoon!” ….Then I…
big and round
Her: Babe, I’m wet 😉 Dumb Boyfriend: Oh, you want a paper towel? Her: Stop playing around babe, I’m serious! DB: Ohhh, you want two paper towels then? Her: I want something big and round now!! DB: Seriously?! You want the whole damn roll??
out
Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when an absolutely stunning blonde with big tits and a perfect body walked past us,”Quit your fucking staring” snarled my wife. …”It’s hard not to…your husband’s got his fucking cock out” said the blonde.
carnival
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks “What are you dressed as?” He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I’ll cum as fast as I can.
winner
Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.