no matter
What I’ve learned from movies: No matter how fast you run, a psychopath can catch up to you by slowly walking.
Fun jokes
Browse our collection of funny jokes, one-liners, puns, dad jokes and more. The largest collection of humor online, updated regularly with new and hilarious jokes for all ages.
already
When I tell my barber to “take a little off the top”, he tells me god already beat him to it.
ghosts
A professor at Auburn University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. Getting a feel for his students, he asks “How many of you believe… Read More »ghosts
bacon
I looked at my girlfriend ,who was sitting next to me, and I thought to myself, “My God, what a beauty! What a woman! True… Read More »bacon
no problem
My boss asked me to work through my lunch break today. I shouted, “You fucking Asshole! I come in at 7.30 and don’t get thanks… Read More »no problem
big and round
Her: Babe, I’m wet 😉 Dumb Boyfriend: Oh, you want a paper towel? Her: Stop playing around babe, I’m serious! DB: Ohhh, you want two… Read More »big and round
Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when…
Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when an absolutely stunning blonde with big tits and a perfect body walked… Read More »Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when…
carnival
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks “What are you dressed as?” He… Read More »carnival
winner
Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.
price
‘organic’ is a special term used in supermarkets meaning ‘twice as expensive’