The waitress asked me if I was familiar with ”Farm to Table” dining.
I told her I was more experienced with fast food and “Table to Toilet” dining.
Fun jokes
Why did the grinch rob the liquor store?
He was in need of some holiday spirit
How do you have a long lasting marriage?
Don’t get caught.
Some friends went out caroling dressed as Star Wars characters.
They were LARPing all the way.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Because he read the weather forecast you idiot
I am so forgetful that I always forget to pack my calculator before my math tests. But I am so smart that I have only failed them a few times…
So few that I can count on my fingers
You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout.
SON: MOM! DAD THREATENED ME!WIFE: stop scaring our son.ME: I’m just singing Christmas songs to him.WIFE: aww okSON:ME: he knows when you are sleeping.
A mom shows her son a picture that she took of him
He says “That’s amazing! How did you create it, did you use your cellphone camera?” To which she replies “No, it was just sex”