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Jokes

  • If happiness was contagious…

    …you still wouldn’t have any friends.

  • Why didn’t Pinnochio have many friends?

    Because he wasn’t poplar.

  • How do you discipline your stone?

    You hit rock bottom.

  • So I was driving Uber tonight…

    So I was driving Uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCC. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed….Now. I didn’t realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me. I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn’t know what else to say…So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to Ri Ra’s Irish Pub in Uptown Charlotte. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.She smiled at me and said, “That’s a shame, you really caught my eye.”

  • Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

    Cause light attracts bugs.

  • If Emperor Palpatine can get laid

    Maybe there is hope for incels after all

  • The 2000 dust Face Hunter deck that took me from rank 10 to legendary in the first 4 days of release.

    Hey hey all, i wouldnt know where to begin for a complete guide on the deck , but i was promtped by people to post it here under the flair discussion, giving my thoughts on it.Going through all the matchups, with the different secret trickery this deck offers, is too convoluted. Althought the mulligan process is consistent for all matchups, and the first 4 turns of play too. I will also discuss the thought process behind the deck and potential legendary additions that would be possible.toxic reinforcements plsClass: HunterFormat: StandardYear of the Dragon2x (1) Arcane Shot2x (1) Dwarven Sharpshooter2x (1) Rapid Fire1x (1) Timber Wolf2x (1) Toxic Reinforcements2x (1) Tracking2x (2) Explosive Trap2x (2) Freezing Trap2x (2) Misdirection2x (2) Phase Stalker1x (2) Spellzerker

  • Why are there more white sugar cubes than brown sugar cubes?

    Because demerera

  • Two girls were laughing at my ringtone in college.

    So I played that at their funeral.(Sorry for bad English)

  • Bit of a gen Z joke here:

    VSCO ice cream vendors be like “and I scOOP!”