I love to solve integer sets when hammered…
Some call me a functioning alcoholic.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
I’ve got an advent calendar for Jehovah’s Witnesses…
Every time you open a door, someone tells you to fuck off.
Why did nobody laugh about Vlad the impaler?
Because he made too many shit posts.
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I know a few bilingual pot heads
The Rosetta stoners
What happened when I got kicked out of Iraq
I ran!!! Iran. Iran!! Get it
Mimes are the only people that use actual chairs.
Get it? chAIRs.Sorry, I’ll leave
I hate Russian dolls
They are so full of themselves
When I do the Hokey-Pokey, I **always** put my whole self in.
And then, I shake it all about. I don’t know about y’all, but I think that’s what it’s all about.
I recently had to get surgery done on my lungs
The doctors said it was breathtaking