I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
What’s a thing pornstars and truckers have in common?
They both get paid by the load.
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale from 1-10.
Last night, we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That’s the best I’ve ever done.
Why Does The Origami Like to do Laundry?
Because it likes folding.
The doctor told me I had only 2 years left to live.
So I killed him and the judge gave me 40.
I heard a rumor that Epstein was hung like a horse
But I’m pretty sure you would need more rope to hang a horse.
The recent smart home device hackings convinced me to throw away my Roomba.
It’s been collecting my dirt for years.
In medical school, I was told never to tell a person they have cancer right before they board a plane
Nobody likes a terminal diagnosis.
How can you tell the difference between an introvert and an extrovert programmer?
An introvert programmer stares at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert programmer stares at yours.
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry