Life turns to death and asks “Why do people love me and hate you?” Death slowly responds “This is a joke site, stop posting meaningless sentimental bullshit, asshole”
Category: Fun jokes
trip to Ireland
I’m planning a trip to Ireland next month. I’m going to rent a car and tour the country. So I’ve been practicing driving on the wrong side of the road while intoxicated …. That’s a legitimate excuse officer.
birds
Once upon a time, they were known as love birds. Then they found love and got married. Now, they’re angry birds!
wish
I wish I could delete my trouser history.
don`t wonder
if you are wondering what I look like without my shirt on. my average McDonald bill is $15.57.v
I was offered…
I’ve worked every day for the last 20 years, getting up at five in the morning, grafting until six at night, to struggle to pay for fuel, to pay my mortgage and put food in the cupboard. Today I was offered free heating, free accommodation and free cooked meals, with the added bonus that I…
Putin
Russian President Vladimir Putin has been nominated for a Nobel prize in Medicine for his work on clinical depression. Apparently he can predict who will commit suicide the next week in London by just picking up his phone.
better phone
As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.”Why don’t you get a better phone, mate?” he asked.”I don’t need one.” I replied….
reason
I like to hug my enemies. So I know how big to dig the hole to bury them in..
sense of humor
Friend: I see you still haven’t lost your sense of humor Me: I see you still haven’t found yours