Never included
Mother battery: “all your friends are at the party across the street, why are you here?” Battery: “mum, we’re batteries, we’re never included”
Fun jokes
The heart of TheFun.Net: our biggest collection of funny jokes, gathered and polished over the years. From quick one-liners to longer stories, this is where new jokes land first before they find a home in a themed category. Dip in whenever you need a laugh, a joke to steal for the office, or something to send a friend. Fresh humor is added all the time, so it is always worth coming back.
Bites
Ever notice that piece of the Apple logo that’s missing? It’s symbolic of how Apple bites off of other people’s ideas.
Good enough
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours… Read More »Good enough
Don’t want
A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, “Give it to me straight doc!” The doctor replies, “That’s impossible, we’re… Read More »Don’t want
Surprise
I remember that look on my girlfriend face as I got down on one knee & pulled out the ring… Then ran as I handed… Read More »Surprise
Punishment
Whenever I punish my 16 year old, I don’t take away her phone. I take away her charger and then watch the fear in her… Read More »Punishment
Bonus
She used Vaseline to give me a hand job and I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.
Quotes
‘Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life.” – Shakespear “Laughing At your Wife’s Mistakes, can SHORTEN your Life….” – Shakespear’s Wife
Difference
Before marriage you realize the importance of sex. …. After marriage you realize the importance of masturbation
Remember
life is not a fairy tale. if you lose a shoe at midnight, you are drunk.