gentlemen
My boyfriend opened the car door for me last night. It would have been a sweet gesture had we not been going 70 mph.
thefun
like her
A completely wasted man walked into a bar and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over… Read More »like her
offshore
I’ve deposited so much sperm in the sperm bank.. I’ve had to open up an Offshore Wank account..
lack of evidence
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled “You’re being charged for being good in bed…” After 2 minutes she said… Read More »lack of evidence
A sign at my local swimming pool: WELCOME TO OUR OOL NOTICE…
A sign at my local swimming pool: WELCOME TO OUR OOL NOTICE THERE IS NO P IN IT, WE WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT
incomplete
According to the Institute of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10 people…
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few… Read More »A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
red duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told… Read More »red duck
well done
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,”… Read More »well done
waiting
No, standing as close to me as you possibly can, will not make the line move faster.