What social
I love how we call it “social media” when 75% of us are either alone in our homes or on the toilet.
thefun
I was…
Elementary School; “He told me to!” Middle School; “It was a dare!” High School; “I was drunk.”
Difference
Husband’s in movies: “I know my dead wife would want me to move on & be happy.” My Husband: “I know my dead wife would… Read More »Difference
Jokes
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Never included
Mother battery: “all your friends are at the party across the street, why are you here?” Battery: “mum, we’re batteries, we’re never included”
Bites
Ever notice that piece of the Apple logo that’s missing? It’s symbolic of how Apple bites off of other people’s ideas.
Good enough
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours… Read More »Good enough
Don’t want
A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, “Give it to me straight doc!” The doctor replies, “That’s impossible, we’re… Read More »Don’t want
Surprise
I remember that look on my girlfriend face as I got down on one knee & pulled out the ring… Then ran as I handed… Read More »Surprise
Punishment
Whenever I punish my 16 year old, I don’t take away her phone. I take away her charger and then watch the fear in her… Read More »Punishment