Dinners
My psychologist: Mhmm. Been drinking heavier than usual? Me: Mmm. Uhh. No, not really. Just the occasional glass of wine with dinner. My psychologist: Uh… Read More »Dinners
thefun
to be sure
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is… Read More »to be sure
Olympic
girl- Harder! Deeper!! Faster!!! me- Wetter! Tighter!! Younger!!!
Who decided
If her bra and panties match when you take off her clothes, it wasn’t you who decided to have sex.
Familiar
If someone says “You look familiar,” just ask “Were we in prison together?” That will stop any further conversation… You’re welcome…
I told you
Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: cause you wanted to see how tall I am? Cop: step out of the car, sir.… Read More »I told you
Trick
I can’t believe I actually tricked a woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was buy her a ring and live with… Read More »Trick
Difference
What’s the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians
Time machine
I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
If you ask Vanilla Ice’s mother about his childhood…..
If you ask Vanilla Ice’s mother about his childhood….. She’ll tell you that he was a nice, nice baby.