A man walks into a library. “Yes we do,” says the librarian. “Do…
A man walks into a library. “Yes we do,” says the librarian. “Do you have any books about mind reading?” asks the man.
thefun
Bad luck
Just my luck — judging by the itching and the rash, I think I’m allergic to prostitutes…
Backup
And then the God said: “Noah, make a backup. I’m going to format”
Self esteem so low, you crop yourself out of your selfie.
Self esteem so low, you crop yourself out of your selfie.
Protection
I’ve been hiding from exercise….I’m in the fitness protection program.
Never
I don’t know how to act my age, because I have never been this old before!
Reverse
I went to see my psychiatrist yesterday and he said, “I want to try a little reverse psychology on you in this session.” I said,… Read More »Reverse
Enough
“Can I have a double Jack and coke please?” I slurred. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough, sir?” He replied. “What? Listen dickhead, I could… Read More »Enough
Happy to see
You know how when you break up with someone, then see them & they’ve gained weight & it makes you so happy? I think that’s… Read More »Happy to see
I’m taking the Highway to Hell because I am far too lazy to…
I’m taking the Highway to Hell because I am far too lazy to climb the Stairway to Heaven.