Just sayin’
The phrase “until death do us part” was invented when the average lifespan was 35 years.
thefun
Neither me
Cop: Sir, are you drunk? Me: No, occifer. Cop: Step out of the car and say the alphabet backwards, please. Me: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba Cop: I’m impressed,… Read More »Neither me
Empty is suspicious
After clearing your browser history there should be a button that makes a new history filled with regular websites instead of having it be all… Read More »Empty is suspicious
My opinion
Opinions are like orgasms. Mine is the most important and I really couldn’t care less about yours.
Why do we call it “losing your virginity”?
Why do we call it “losing your virginity”? Who loses it? Most of us don’t go looking for it after its gone.
Until
You haven’t seen a woman overreact until you tell her she is overreacting
Never mind
I had a dream I was swimming in chocolate, but when I woke up ……nevermind
Difference
Women can use sex to get what they want. Men can’t because, well, what they want is sex.
I agree
Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. In the end, you’re just ignoring everything & click, “I agree.”
Fired
It turns out that a monkey cannot in fact do my job, long story short, he got us both fired.