thefun

Yesterday I was diagnosed as a kleptomaniac I’m taking something for it three times a day.

My girlfriend said “Don’t talk about sex until we’re married” Now we’re married she says “you can TALK about sex all you want..”

Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn’t working.

A guy asks his girlfriend for a blowjob. She says “No, you won’t respect me enough to marry me and I love you.” After they’re… Read More »After so many years..

I got home from the pub about midnight Sunday. The wife was sat in the armchair, crying her eyes out in the dark. I could… Read More »@ChrisNewton

Has there been any lesbian divorces yet… I’m interested to see how both women will get 80% of the assets

I’ve just put a shit load of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal.

A hot girlfriend is like a job It’s easier to get one once you already have one…

In response to Sweden and Finland joining NATO, Russia introduces embargoes on Absolut and Finland.

My friend managed to fool me into volunteering in a cat shelter. He said there was a lot of pussies I could play with.