thefun

Nectarines were grown by people who got tired of shaving peaches.

Marx said that “Religion is the opium of the masses” suggesting that the people need better drugs.

Studies show non-smokers have an increased risk of dying of old age

What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute? There’s a difference?

My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween party whether you like it or not. So you better decide what you’re going… Read More »@ChrisNewton

My pal asked me, “How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?” I said, “Ooooh, about 15 minutes.”   🍷🍷🍷

A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won’t admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.… Read More »Are you hear me?

Man: Do you want to have dinner with me at Saturday night? Girl: Actually, I am getting married on Saturday Man: hmmm…. Friday night then?!

I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s taking her retarded boyfriend to the pub tonight. I can’t believe the bitch is cheating… Read More »@ChrisNewton

What should Ukrainian soldiers paint on captured Russian tanks? Ctrl-