Me – This escape room sucks 😒Nurse – Sir, this is a psych ward
Category: Fun jokes
@MrsSimmons
I’m gonna divorce my husband after he spent all our life savings getting a penis enlargement…I just can’t take it any longer
@supernurse
How soon after waking up is it OK to take a nap… Asking for myself.
@Bluezzzman
l want my children to have all the things in the world l could never afford. Then I’m going to move in with them.
Filtered Fail: Instagram’s Fallstart at Tweeting
Instagram announced they’re launching a competitor to Twitter. However, they hit a snag: Instagram users couldn’t figure out how to add filters to their tweets.
@Narcis
– Excuse me sir, we have a dress code here. – I work in IT – carry on
neither have I
Have you ever experienced that morning surge of inner energy, a charge of invigoration for the day, and an uncontainable desire to create? No? Neither have I.
@awesome_smokey
I was at an important job interview today..“Are you on facebook?” I was asked.“Sorry, no. I’m not.” I replied.“Twitter?”“Nope.”“Instagram?”“Nah.”“Look, just put your fucking phone away, will you!?”
@ElGato
I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off! I yelled “just kidding” and IMMEDIATLY gave him his gun back!
@JRM
You know, the band “Fine Young Cannibals” originally had 8 members.